Listening: The skills that unlocks negotiation

When I first became a buyer (oh so many years ago!), I was sent on a negotiation training course. The biggest lesson I carried with me was this: always be creative and look for options and variables.
That mindset has never let me down in any negotiation. But to be creative in real time, you need one skill above all others. Unfortunately, it’s a skill that seems to be in short supply today. Too often, everyone is busy talking, persuading, and trying to prove they’re right.
We all learn about BATNA (Best Alternative To No Agreement), anchoring, and negotiation styles. But here’s the truth: negotiations aren’t between processes and techniques — they’re between people. People with personalities, egos, and biases. And unless you’re trained like a CIA or FBI negotiator, most of us don’t have a perfect poker face.

That’s why the most important skill in negotiation is listening.

And I don’t just mean listening to the words. It’s about tuning into the full conversation: tone, energy, impatience, pauses. It’s about noticing the uncomfortable shift in a chair when a proposal doesn’t land well, the raised eyebrow at a tough demand, or the glance exchanged between team members. These are the signals that reveal what’s really going on.
One example stands out from my career. As a regional category manager, I was under pressure (as always) to reduce costs. We had a European supplier competing with Asian suppliers, and to stay in the game, they needed to cut pricing by 10%. The numbers showed it was possible — but the supplier refused to move.
It would have been easy to conclude they were just being stubborn. But by listening — really listening — we discovered something deeper. The owner wasn’t blocking on price at all. He was upset because one of our engineers had visited his facility, written a critical report, and pushed it in front of him to sign without discussion. His pride had been hurt.
Once we recognised this, we addressed it head-on. We apologised for how he’d been treated and restored respect to the relationship. That unlocked the negotiation. We reached an agreement that kept him competitive, secured our European supply base, and avoided costly resourcing actions.
For me, that experience reinforced a simple truth: negotiation isn’t about proving you’re right. It’s about finding a solution both sides can accept. And that only happens through dialogue. And dialogue requires listening.
So when we train our teams, are we teaching them only techniques — or the art of Procurement? Techniques matter, but great negotiators go further. They move beyond frameworks, into human connection.
If you want to be great in the art of Procurement, learn to listen well.

If you would like to know more about how we can help develop better listening skills within your teams contact us.